🐥The Paradox of Now #22

What Flavoured Toothpick Would You Choose?

Hi people!

As you are reading this, I am likely to be immersing myself in all of what Glastonbury has to offer.

You name it this place has it, and I am sure there will be some great stories to tell from this week, in some forthcoming newsletters.

But for now, I am off to whittle the stone of an avocado, watch a random couple get married and swap a pack of flavoured toothpicks for a vest with a cat on it.

Or something along those lines anyway!

Now let me give you a taste of what's coming:

🐥 The most put together piece of comedy that exists in this world
🐥 Who has the nickname Milkfoot?
🐥 My friend’s take on how to be a good person

🥚Eggstra News🥚

Your weekly dose of some fascinating and fun finds:

🎭 Repertoire – A James Acaster four-part special. The greatest piece of comedy art ever, full stop.

🕯️Candlelight Concert – A beautiful live music experience. Great as a gift, even for non-music lovers like me.

🎩 Beau Miles  – Runs one mile every hour for 24 hours. And does errands in between. Somehow… profound

The Paradox of Now

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Waffle Wednesday

This feels like the right time to send this one out.

Right now, I’m at Glastonbury with some of my best friends in the world. Some of whom I haven’t seen in months.

Which, in isolation, is a sad sentence to write. But it’s the honest reality of the late twenties.

The one people warn you about, but you think you’ll be the exception.

You tell yourself:

It won't be us.

Our group is different.

We’re close. We’ll keep it up.

You think it’ll always be like it was at uni. In our final year, some of the boys had a house in Cardiff called The Hostel. People came and went like it was a revolving door of comfort. Some of the best conversations of my life happened out the back of that house.

Then life happens.

And just like that, the last time you review a Japanese snack box together passes without you realising it was the last.

Friends move on. And that’s okay. They find new rhythms.

They figure out who they are.

You begin to figure out who you are.

After university, your world opens. Before that everything is mapped out.

School. Sixth form. Uni.

Then one day you wake up and realise you can’t just eat snack boxes with your friends and play silly games all the time. You have to figure it out the real world outside of the door’s of The Hostel.

But freedom comes with drifting. And in the drift, some friends fade.

There’s a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

One of the biggest ones?

We live in the easiest era to stay in touch. And yet we don’t.

And I’ll admit it. I am terrible at it.

I am a terrible texter for example. I write a full response in my head, then forget to send it. And by the time I remember, it feels too late to reply.

The guilt creeps in. The silence stretches.

I’m not the glue friend in the friendship group. I’ve never been the one to keep everyone together. But I want to get better at it. Because I can see the loneliness rising.

Especially in the twenties. It is becoming dangerous.

It’s an epidemic.

Seb is the glue friend for us.

Mr Nice; Milkfoot; Tippy Turpin; Qwertzy; Peter Allan - are just a few of his nicknames.

So many names, but Mr Nice is the one that sticks because he is that.

He checks in. Calls on his drives home. Makes the time.

I’m different. I don’t call often. I like solitude. But I’m present when we’re together.

If you ring me, I’ll answer. If we’re in person, I’ll bring the games, the food, the energy.

I am the facilitator.

The catalyst.

The one that organises the bigger events. The garden parties, the beach days and more recently:

What is Waffle Wednesday I hear you ask?

Well, every Wednesday, we send a short video update into our smaller WhatsApp group chat.

What we’re up to. How we’re doing.

No pressure. No rules. We just speak.

Then others reply. Sometimes with a voice note. Sometimes a message. Sometimes not at all.

It’s been one of the best things we’ve added for a while.

Because when we are together, we don’t talk about our everyday life events.

We talk about which log looks most like a penis.

We play made up games like "Hits."

We riff off one word that a friend says weirdly and create made-up worlds and scenes and characters because that’s our version of fun.

But behind that, real life is moving.

One of us has had a child. Some are married. Others are decorating homes or navigating dating apps.

All of us are growing in different directions.

And we need to celebrate that.

A true friend is the first to support you when you start something.

And the first to celebrate when you succeed.

Whether it’s finishing the decking of a new home, booking a Maldives honeymoon, being accepted to run the London Marathon, signing a new client for their online fitness coaching, or doing a TikTok video with Roman Kemp.

That stuff deserves confetti.

And I wasn’t always good at that. And still need to improve massively.

Maybe because I didn’t always feel like I had anything worth celebrating myself.

So it was hard to cheer for others.

But now that I’m on a path, I see how important that support is. And I want to be that support in return.

And Milkfoot is probably the biggest influence on this change, and so this is an ode to him.

Thank you if you’re reading this, but he knows this to be true anyway.

When I hear of these wins, I try and let my friends know. I message them. Whether it is a response to a Waffle Wednesday or beyond.

It doesn’t need to be profound.

It can be something silly.

It can be something real.

It can even be…

Well, like that moment in The Inbetweeners. Final episode.

They all text someone from each other’s phones when camping.

One message reads:

Maybe they were right… in a roundabout way.

If you hear of their success, message them.

If you know they may be going through a difficult time, message them.

Even if you just think of them randomly throughout the day, message them.

Don’t wait.

Don’t overthink it.

The thought takes longer.

Just reach out.

Because friendship isn’t about frequency.

It’s about effort.

And Waffle Wednesday isn’t perfect. And we have not been great at being consistent with it.

But it’s something.

So maybe try it.

And when you do, tell your friends I said hi.

Unless you’re in the bath… then maybe wait five minutes.

🐥 Haiku’s Haiku 🐥

We are inseparable. Haiku always comes on all my travels and this picture was taken in a bullring in Seville.

Haiku had the splendid idea to have his photo taken on the seat number that corresponds with this week’s newsletter.

I could only dream of doing something this genius.

🌴 Palm Tree Euphoria 🌴

You may have heard of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life.

Well, my mate once handed me this list with zero explanation.

No context. No backstory. Just casually handed it to me.

And honestly? I’ve never looked at life the same way since.

So here it is, in its original chaotic glory:

How to not be a piece of sh*t

1. Wear glasses

2. Do a Windsor tie

3. Eat 6 vegetables

4. Not 5 vegetables

5. Spin plates on your little finger

6. Buy Yankee Candles and never use them

7. Only eat out of date food (3 day rule)

8. Make your out breath in sync with every other left step

9.  Learnt to write left handed

10. Raise the flag

11. Stop at green lights

12. Aim for the bushes

13. Go to the Big Cheese every year

14. Drink tepid water

And people think I come out with unusual things…

See you next week Dashing Ducks! 🐥

P.S. if this list realigned your moral compass in the weirdest way, forward it to a fellow duckling who could do with some tepid wisdom.

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